Reflections on Life

I was laying in bed last night thinking about my beloved Shih-Tzu Tuffy, and it occurred to me how some things never change. I have done all this before......... Let me explain.

Over the Christmas season 2001. I was knee deep in caring for my beloved husband Jim. I did everything I could to keep him alive until he finally gave up and died in January 2002. He had always told me he was ready to go to God and would not fight. I, on the other hand am a fighter and when I go to God...the drag marks will be mine.

I now find myself in a battle for Tuffy's life. Tuffy is 15 years old and the last time he saw a vet he weighed 14 lbs. Two years ago Tuffy developed a large growth on his neck, just behind and under his ear. The vet told me at the time it was cancer and it was not causing him pain and could not be operated on. She said he was nearing the end of his life cycle and since he was still feisty, I should just let him be.

He weighed only 8 lbs when I came home from my daughters house for Thanksgiving. He was not eating and only got up to use the bathroom. I thought it could be his teeth and perhaps he needed wet food.

I have purchased wet food and special treats for him and have been feeding him by hand for the last few days. I am happy to say he has gained one pound and now weighs a little over 9 lbs.

Yesterday, I trimmed his fur and gave him a nice warm bath. I put his favorite sweater on him and put him in bed with a small electric heater near him to keep him warm.

I told myself when I went to bed last night that if he was worse today I would take him to the vet.

The little bugger is better this morning and came into the kitchen and barked for his food and even got up in the cat's face and barked at him. He ate a good breakfast, mostly hand fed by spoon by me and went back to his bed.

This is just tearing me up. I have told my Daughter that I cannot leave him and will not be going to her house for Christmas. I realized last night as I lay in bed....I have done all this before.

Have a blessed day.

Laraine